Jill of all trades...and a balancing act of many

There was a time in my life when studying the human brain scared the crap out of me. It wasn't the physical anatomy of it, but more the applied physiology part of it all. I know, hard to believe, now that I'm strongly considering a specialty in Neuro rehabilitation in addition to sports medicine, and automatically psychoanalyze everyone as a result of my fields as well. One thing about neuroscience that has always fascinated me is hemispheric dominance. Those who are more Right brain dominant are the artists, creative thinkers, whereas the Left dominants are more apt with math, facts/figures, and science related items. So, what happens when you're supposedly both?

I recently took a self-administered exam that was to generally suggest which side of your gray matter was more dominant, after the scoring had completed it was apparent that I was...equal... right and left brained. Talk about frustration! Here I am, a woman of science, and yet....I half wish I had pursued a career in a more creative arena. I recently commented to my roommate and her boyfriend that if I was smarter that I would have gone into music. I realize I had misspoke when I implied that someone has to be more intelligent to tackle music than a science profession, or that I was regretting my decision to pursue physical therapy. I love my work in athletic training and physical therapy, but I was blessed with a mind that likes and loves a lot of other things...

I admired those who, in their chosen profession, are ultimately driven and focused; those who have TRULY specialized. There are days I wish I was that focused in what I do. These are they who I think make the great discoveries because they don't bog their mind with irrelevant information. Maybe they do and I'm just vying after an intellectual gift that I wasn't meant to have. Maybe I'm just jealous. Actually, I am jealous. I've always wanted to be one of those people with a photographic memory who could do multivariable calculus and diff eq in their sleep while they save Africa from a starvation epidemic with some brilliant economic idea and pretty much performed any task given to them with flawless execution. Flawless. mind you.

Some might say that this impossible delusion is what drives me to force myself into experience various things, but if that was the case, I wouldn't be as ultimately happy as I am, I don't believe. (PS, blogger's spell check is faulty, it didn't recognize ulitmately as being incorrect... and still doesn't actually). I'd be in a consistently stressed state of depression from continually recognizing that I'm falling short of my ideal. Always. Perfection cannot exist in this mortal life. But we can sure as hell try...

I may be a master of none of my interests, but I think the key is not necessarily how much is instantly retained and immaculately applied, granted that is a large component, rather the heart that goes into it. This is most likely the still jealous part of me jabbering but I don't care. Barring raw, innate talent, I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone you admire who didn't take an active interest in their work. They're constantly reseraching, studying, making sure information is correct and current. They analyze what's working for them, what isn't and make appropriate adjustments. They, too, have their own ultimate goal for which they are striving but weren't afraid to do what it took to go after it. (Even though I'm not necessarily referring to formal occupations, this probably could be applied to that realm to a certain extent. To me, a job is work that you don't like but it's a paycheck. An occupation isn't work, but activities that could be described as a job, but you wouldn't know it. All about the mindframe).

So how do you reconcile what you want with what you know you're pretty much given?

My advice...stop comparing yourself to others and concern yourself with culturing your own level of interest, as long as you enjoy it. As soon as you stop enjoying whatever is important to you is when you need to take a break, step back, and let the scales balance out.