Expatriation

I was reminded today that I lived a very sheltered life. I'm not going to go into the details of what triggered this reminder, but I realized that I had allowed myself to succumb to a very dangerous mindset - egocentrism. This is something I've spent a great portion of my life fighting against in other people because it was this nasty little bug that caused me great pain many years ago and from that I've been able to see how it causes pain in others. It is destructive and in the grand scheme of things, very little good comes of it.

For anyone who has caught the brunt of the version of me that's not myself that's been fermenting for the last 4 months or so, I'm sorry - so very, very sorry. In light of this, my mind often turns to my greatest Teacher. This particular gentleman (meant in the truest sense) is known to a number of other students as a master teacher. I've sat through many of his lectures but until I wasn't until college that I started to take stock in what he'd been trying to teach me all of those previous years. It was then, and only then, did the world open up further to my eyes. The times when I failed to remember my lessons were when a whole other Me was created - one that had fallen into a subconscious inawareness, where I wasn't what I really wanted to be. But, like the master teacher he was, he'd check in on me from time to time to see how I was doing and I'd awaken from the other conscious, and realize, again, almost with the same initial zeal as I had many years ago, that someone who is so afraid, unkind, unaware, stagnant and just wholly self-centered, wasn't for me.

So I walk away...