Now, I have no stones to throw - I did watch a few episodes of the secular one simply because I was bored one summer and needed a good laugh (I know, I'm horrible) - but really.... really?
Do we, of the YSA culture, really need to have something like the Mormon Bachelorette? In my opinion, there's nothing special about the people they pick to be the bachelorette nor the suitors who apply to be considered (and I mean that in the kindest way possible). In my relief society alone I associate with at least 20 beautiful, smart, ambitious, spiritual, creative, relatively normal daughters of God who are just as qualified as the young lady they chose (1 of which applied to be the next M.B. as well) and they don't have scores of guys vying to be their suitor. As for the suitors, apparently there are amazing guys who are sweet, smart, and funny still floating around out there unattached and almost out of the singles ward. What the he**??
Every woman of equal quality to the current M.B. deserves to have the following as she does. So why don't they? Now, this is where I get biased.
- Not going to lie, I think half of those guys who applied to be a suitor are just looking for the fame of it all (what fame goes with a dating reality show who uses youtube as their TV network, I don't know, but I'm sure there will be some derived from it somehow),
- Some of them are likely are feeling brave because the M.B. is not in their ward (complying with the urban legend that everyone in your ward is a look at someone you'll never date because it would be awkward if you broke up),
- Its a less covertly-condemned-by-society version of speed dating.
- Disenchantment with what's readily accessible
- They're too lazy to put forth the same effort to get to know the equal-qualitied women in their own area.
...Maybe this is what we need to get both parties to not feel awkward about asking and accepting dates from various parties and then proper acceptance or refusal of continuance.... Thoughts?
Why does every single YSA sister deserve equal attention? By what standard do you suppose that all YSA sisters are equally qualified? What have they done to obtain the attention they 'deserve'? And i don't think simply accomplishing goals in life counts at all for effort with suitors. Those are the things you have for yourself to share with an eventual mate and they dont' always work to keep someone's interest either. But dressing nice, smelling, and looking good usually pay off at some point. (now imagine the same questions with "brother(s)" inserted for 'sister' for the sake of PC)
ReplyDeleteAside from the deeper reasons for discussing the show. Maybe it was just for fun? Immature but fun.
but i guess that brings us back to the deeper reason..we are too immature to take advantage of good things.
"Anonymous", you and I are going to be great bantering partners, I can tell. =) You've given me fodder for multiple other blog posts, but I think I'd rather focus on the thematic under-current running through your reply.
ReplyDeleteI sense you're acting under the impression that all YSA sisters are not equally qualified - I completely agree and I'm glad we see eye to eye on this matter.
I'm mildly confused by your position on a woman developing herself non-physically, especially after you rhetorically ask what have YSA women done to deserve attention. From your comments, if accomplishments don't count in a woman's favor at all, you suggest the foremost, singular thing a woman has to offer in a relationship is to be pleasant to the senses. That accomplishing goals in life (what kinds of goals were you including in this by the way?) don't count at all for "Efforts" with suitors, and then, in turn, suggest these ancillary accomplishments ARE something a woman can share with an eventual mate (...a suitor?), but these may or may not keep his interest, and that sensory pleasantries have the best chance of all things so far discussed to do so (keeping male interest). I'm fairly confident that's not what you meant to convey.... ( http://marriottschool.net/emp/dld/Learning/value/churchquotes.htm and http://thomasmonson.com/350/thomas-s-monson-quotes-about-goals )
However, I did notice you neglected to mention/discuss the importance of Spiritual development. Why is that? In my mind, it should count for something, especially in the faithful YSA community....
My comment was just a statement of the obvious, for fun. We are more immature now in spite of our educations and accomplishments when it comes to relationships.
ReplyDeleteNow that i compare my comment to the subject i have to admit you did not say all YSA sisters/brothers are equally qualified, however in the spirit of what i meant to say I will word it this way: What makes people so certain they can compare themselves or anyone in the YSA to a person in a video and then be certain they are accurate to say the two are equal? Maybe they aren't. The question is really directed at remembering the purpose of those shows, which is to foster envy in the audience (or give the audience an opportunity to satisfy its enormous appetite for criticism). In other words, the show is probably just for fun, and if those involved really do make a couple out of it (and last through life together) then good for them. They have an interesting courtship story to share with their kids. (or maybe just embarassing..lol)
I would point out that in my comment i said the same questions would be applied to men. I really meant it because its true, honest! Though i also admit the wording was an intentional contribution to the battle of the sexes. hehe.
My comment did not suggest that accomplishments don't count in a woman’s favor (non-physical accomplishments). They certainly do! But accomplishments aren't going to make a relationship for you. A person doesn't earn a spouse the way they earn a degree or a paycheck, which is what you suggest when you say that a woman 'deserves' to have equal attention given to her because of her laudable accomplishments.
Yes, visual recognition of someone you are attracted to usually precedes dating them. Accomplishments don't generally keep a man or woman interested all by themselves, and i did not suggest that the only other things to consider were physical. But that is one of those universal things that tends to work eventually isn't it? Anything else involves a long discussion of what the two people involved are like with enormous detail.
And isn't it obvious that I do think a woman with great qualities is worth more attention? I wrote these comments after all. ;)
Much better. Thank you. =)
ReplyDelete