In response to my last blog post, there apparently has been an outpouring of condolences and "don't worry" sentiments and I thank you for them. However, I feel I need to make a clarification - I wasn't sad when I wrote it, nor was I seeking pity. lol I wasn't down, depressed, yearning, or hopeless. It was more of a declaration of fact and I'm actually okay with the probability that I will be "single" for a good number of years to come. I'm a hard and particular personality, but the parts that are hard and particular aren't bad, and I'm fairly pleased with them. Women like me just aren't for the feint of heart. I believe men should be amiable, but I think they should be able to withstand someone giving them a piece of their mind and be able to weather that experience. *shrugs* =) (this is the red part of my personality coming out)
So yeah...I wasn't bemoaning in that last post. Much lub!
Monday, April 06, 2009
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Lol, you most certainly do take your time between posts.
ReplyDeleteIs it bad to wait for someone real to come along though? Relationships are great and fun, but being single has quite a few perks of its own. And besides, if you don't wait until you find someone willing to take off their mask, it just isn't worth it. At least in my opinion.
Personally, I don't think waiting is a bad thing, and trust me, I've had people in my very distant past try to scare me into it (albeit jokingly, but I still chalk it up). It's just been interesting to observe how the "market", if you'll permit me a crass example, appears to shrink as life plods along, especially when you think about it from a probability perspective. However, I look at it as a weeding process. The tough part is resisting being unrealistic about yourself. I can't tell you how often, as I female, I've had the thought creeep into my mind that it's really my problem for being the body shape I am, the expectations I have, or for being headstrong and challenging at times,and not small and cute. The kicker is these thoughts have sometimes come from what I've seen and heard male friends say about what they like and don't like, and even my own reactionary preferences I find I have when I find a guy I'm attracted to (vs. the ones I'm not, and why). Don't get me wrong, I know these aren't global, but the fact of the matter is that it happens and every lost chance just creeks that door open a little bit more to that type of thinking.
ReplyDeleteAnd then I give myself a wake up call and everything goes back to normal and I end up being a mother-type to the male population I'm around. lol I just need to find a counterpart father figure
Lol, I think market is a perfectly fine way to describe it. Sometimes I wish I knew what I was shopping for though; It'd make things a lot easier.
ReplyDeleteIs a counter-father figure what you need though? I mean, it'd be great for raising kids, but would someone like that satiate you? I obviously don't know, I don't know your type, but I could see you with someone a little crazy who gets you off-balance occasionally (but is always there to make sure you're still safe) and someone you can formalize a bit. You're a very safe girl, so is safety what you need?
Darling, thank you for being realistic about things. It's not quite as much fun, but some of us need a level head in sight, just to right ourselves occasionally.
Lol, I think market is a perfectly acceptable description. Sometimes I wish I knew what I was looking for though; it'd make several bits of life a mite easier.
ReplyDeleteIs a counter-father figure what you need though? It'd be great for raising kids, but is that kind of stability what you need to be satiated? I mean, I don't know your type or what you're looking for, but I could see you with someone less stable. Someone to keep you off balance (but make sure you don't fall) and someone you could formalize more. You're very safe and strong so is that what you need?
And seriously, thank you for being realistic. Some of us really need a level head, even if it isn't always present, to right ourselves occasionally. We're just always half a bubble off and can't quite seem to fix it.
lol in response to both of your posts...you're being too nice to me, El Capitán.
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew what I was looking for, myself! Okay, that's a partial truth - I do have an idea of what I'm looking for. In my trips around the block, I've learned what makes good company from better company from the most desireable company. I've been fortunate enough to see the kind of love I want to have displayed in some very dear friends of mine, and I know what makes their love so great.
While I have the set qualities that I will not live without pretty much solidified (because they're things I want for my family), now it's just a matter of what other non-absolute-must-have qualities will I need to bargain with/against/for... It's the balancing act part of the mate that I can't seem to get over.
I think a father-counter figure may indeed what I need - although I'm not sure until I find one and feel him out a little more, so to speak. The male version of me, if you will. lol (yeah, that's not narcissistic at ALL). I almost need some one stable in the areas where I'm not stable, what do you think? That might satisfy my need to be perturbed and supplement everything else that I'm not or can't do well.
Safe. heh. I guess when it comes to safe and strong, I'll need someone strong (otherwise he'd get slaughtered, and I can't live that), but safe......? Define safe. I'm safe when other people are involved, but not always with myself when I'm on my own.
You're probably the first person to actually thank me in writing for supposedly being realistic. lol I've never had that before, or at least that I can recall. Spencer, I almost fear you've never see the devious side of me....
I wrote the first one, but I didn't think it got through, so I rewrote it as well as I could.
ReplyDeleteWell, as a deviant myself, I doubt I'd be surprised by anything you've done. Occasionally I actually enjoy an evening of just sharing those strange stories that shake up someone listening, but I'm always worried I'm taking it too far and will terrify the tepid audience already awed by my array of awkward antics. But that is besides the point.
Honestly, I understand being strong for everyone around you, but worrying about what happens when, well, you don't have everyone around you. I'm becoming a better person, more defined, but I still act very differently depending on who/if anyone is around me. I define safe as someone who won't get you hurt and doesn't need to be taken care of or convinced not to hurt him/herself. Stable is safe.
And it's only narcissistic if I'm narcissistic for hoping my kids end up like me, because even though they'll be insane and, for the most part, unstable, they'll turn-out alright. We know who we are, so why not hope people are/can be like us and hoping a mirror, to occasionally remind us, is all we need to complete ourselves. I guess by definition want a mirror to complete ourselves is narcissistic since Narcissus was plagued to forever look at his image in the soft reflection of a pool.