Come, Let Us Anew...

It's hard to believe that a year has already passed, and what a year was 2009.

A year ago this month, I practically swore to my Bishop in Flagstaff that I wouldn't be taking out my endowments for a very long time, nor would I be getting married any time soon.  Well... 10 months later, I received my endowment, but I'm still not any closer to getting married.  One of these days...

A year ago come February will mark the 1-year anniversary my cousin and classmate, Holly, and I received a second chance at life.  On a blizzardy early afternoon, February 9th, we were involved in a multi-car and semi pile up on I-40 W toward Kingman.  Due to a sudden entrance into a low visibility stretch on a hill, Holly was unable to stop in time before sliding into the wheel-well of a semi that had already collided with another semi to avoid smashing into a longer stretch of piled up vehicles in front of them.  I had the last look before impact, but I had the impression this wasn't the end for us.  Holly and I ducked into each other and a few bangs and jerks later we were still. Holly had the inspiration we needed to get out, and we climbed out the back window which had miraculously been avulsed from the vehicle.  We hopped the guardrail and ran upstream to warn other cars just as two other semi's hauntingly crashed into the area where we had just been.  The snow lifted, the sun intermittently came out and as far as we knew, other cars behind us were able to stop safely.  Holly's car was totaled and all we escaped with were a subluxed SC joint for Holly and a hematoma along my anterior tibialis and a few months of sensory nerve regrowth.  If both of us had stayed, we would be dead.  Thankfully, no one involved that day expired - a faith reaffirming experience that I'll expound for you in a more private forum if you ask me to.

Fly fishing trips, a grandmother's health in question, and hopes for the future to plan for.  I still don't know if I made the right decisions in setting up my rotations as I have them, but only time will tell, and in the end, I am the master of my education.  I was offered a research position with some professors that saved my sanity and improved my confidence in myself as a clinician and a person of character.  However, cleaning cadaver tanks was an experience I shall never forget.  I do miss dissection.

Leaving Flagstaff for Phoenix was harder than I anticipated.  I arrived there from Utah ready to leave and I left there not wanting to go...

Moving back in with my parents was interesting, as it prompted a lot of house cleaning and many donations to Good Will.  The discussions resumed about when my curfew would be: Dad said 10pm because after that I was going to get shot at a streetlight while driving home, I said Midnight.  Mom broke the tie with Midnight.  So began my matriculation back into Phoenix society - records transferred into new singles ward, met AMAZING people that I feel very small next to, helping mom with the house, volleyball on Tuesdays, and resume unspoken repartee with my unofficial "nemesis" (?) - not sure what I would call him...

Rotations beginning and my year long training on how to be a real therapist. Scary.  Started out with outpatient Neuro rehab at SWAN.  Had the most patient CI in the world who I swear, thought I was crazy half the time.  We were cut out of the same cloth 20 years apart.  I made amazing friends there and learned a lot about myself.  Moved to Utah for my 2nd rotation to finally get some closure on my life there.  The rotation wasn't what I thought I needed, in the entire 8 weeks I was there, I didn't do one initial evaluation and I about had a coronary the entire first week I was there.  However, it gave me much needed experience in actually treating someone....now I just need to re-learn how to go through an intake form.  While the rotation was a chore at times, the dancing was great.  All I did was Blues, and I made some great friends while I was at it.  The Blues scene made it hard to leave Utah.  That and a couple prospects I left behind.

And what would a reflection blog be without a touch on the love life (as I know so many of you are on the edge of your seats).  The close of this year also saw the close of some hoped for relations, both years in the making.  Upon reacquaintance, one pushed too hard too fast and scared me off, the other didn't push enough over long distance and we lost each others hearts for good.  Had a few nibbles since then, but I'm open for suggestions...  (however, he must be of strong constitution for heaven help the man who courts and marries a Kate).

However, whenever a door closes a window opens.  A new year is upon us and I realized I lived the last 5 months of my life in fear.  Fear that I wouldn't be the perfect intern, fear that I wouldn't learn what I thought I was suppose to, fear that I had screwed up my potential for happiness, and fear that my Father was mad at me.  The canvas is fresh, the paints are old, but there are other fresher colors and utensils to use as well.  I have rarely been one to accept fear as a reason for not doing anything I was suppose to be doing - there may be uncertainty, but no fear.

So, with that, I say hello to this brave new year, full of possibilities, challenges, and growth.   Let's dance.... =)