Thoughts on a reflection of a consecrated life

I find myself particularly drawn toward an address by D. Todd Christofferson, entitled “Reflections on a Consecrated Life.” To consecrate something is to set it apart or dedicate it as sacred, devoted to holy purposes. In his talk, Christofferson draws from the example of Jesus Christ to outline 5 key elements that contribute to the consecration of one’s life to the building of the kingdom of God on this Earth in this life, namely: purity, work, respect for one’s physical body, service and integrity.

Purity
Purity, it seems, is the ultimate elusive goal. We have been instructed that to return to our Father’s presence, we must be pure, even as His Son, Our Lord and Savior, is pure and yet it seems like we are incapable of keeping ourselves free of sin to some degree. To be pure does not necessarily mean to be absolutely perfect in the sense which we imperfect mortals define it. It does mean, however, that we repent of our sins and transgressions, throw off the false mantles of pride in all of its forms, and adorn ourselves with the spirit of submission, adopting a desire for the correct, and acceptance of our individual developing subplot within the Lord’s Master plan.

We are constantly invited to come unto Christ, be perfected in Him, and become a “saint” through the Atonement of Christ. However, in this day and age, with the Adversary as bold in his tactics as he is, developing a pure constitution is becoming increasingly difficult. So, what do we do? To borrow from both B.H Roberts and a dear friend I knew many years ago, I submit this proposal. Everyone we meet and keep company with, takes a little of us with them. Doing what is necessary keep constant company with the Lord and maintain the standing invitation to the Holy Ghost will “by the very force of association,” allow us to eventually make “the light and wisdom of God [our] own,” as we consistently choose to consecrate our lives to His holy purposes. 

Work
The Savior’s example of an established work ethic began at a young age. Work, in terms of our existence, takes many forms. As we convert ourselves to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we feel a natural inclination to assist the Father and the Savior with Their work. While it is always good to “put your shoulder to the wheel”, per se, I’ve additionally taken fancy to the viewpoint of the Negro spiritual, “Ain’t got time to die”, which conveys the essence of a consecrated life: A man being too busy working, doing, and living the Gospel to be bothered with the pestering nature of death.
 
Temporally, work enables us to sustain and enrich our lives, as well as to survive life’s disappointments. Work can give us a sense of self-worth, assist in refining our character, and “ is the instrument of our service to one another and to God. A consecrated life is filled with work, sometimes repetitive, sometimes menial, sometimes unappreciated, but always work that improves, orders, sustains, lifts, ministers, aspires.” For anything to progress, work must be utilized – it cannot succumb to the siren call of stagnation., or idleness.

However, as we know, all work and no play doesn’t lead to a joyful existence. We must choose to balance our lives with wholesome recreation, taking in the best forms of entertainment that further enrich and support a consecrated life.

Bodily Respect
One cannot begin to fully engage in a consecrated life without the gift of a mortal physical body to house our eager spirit. If you think about it for a moment, this body you now enjoy is one of the central, catalytical reasons for why we are here now. Regardless of its shape, size, or imperfections, your body is essential for exaltation and is your personal mechanical vehicle by which your spirit gains experience and knowledge necessary to obtain the highest degree of glory. Because of our knowledge of our body’s purpose, we must “acknowledge our duty to God with respect to this crowning achievement of His physical creation” and in turn, earnestly care for it the best way we know how.


In my brief studies of anatomy, physiology, psychology, chemistry, physics, nutrition, and biomechanics, I have discovered that, for the most part, the body is a literal machine that puts out exactly what you put into it. The body doesn’t lie, and if something goes awry, it should not be because we didn’t take care of it properly.

Integrity
Integrity is the quality of being honest and having a strong moral character. We have been charged from the beginning to be honest in our dealings with one another, and any earnest seeker of a consecrated life would do well to remember that. We are accountable foremostly to God, who will judge our works from our allotted time here on this earth. A former Chief Justice of the Arizona Supreme Court had a famous piece of advice he would tell each of his children: Be good. And that was that. To “be good” meant for them to choose to conduct themselves in the way their Father in Heaven would have them, and summed up everything he wanted his children to remember as they transitioned into independence, as there is a right and a wrong, and a poor, better, and best decision to make in every situation. From Elder Christofferson, “A consecrated life does not seek to take to take advantage of another.” Being a person of integrity will afford you the ultimate trust of those with whom you associate, especially with your Father in Heaven.

Service
I transposed the order a little to make this the final tenet I discuss with you because it is the nearest to my heart. I want you to reflect on something for a moment: Why do you help someone? Is it because others are watching? Because of someone else’s expectations? Or because of genuine concern for that person’s welfare? Since I was a small, my parents had my brothers and I involved in doing what my mother called “good works.” In laymen’s terms she meant service, but she’s from Tennessee, so that translates to “good works” in her vernacular. These good works ranged from staying after most if not every church activity to help clean up, supporting service projects, donating blood when we were old enough, preparing meals for new mothers, you name it and my brothers and I did it. My mother would additionally direct our attentions to people who devoted much of their lives to doing good works, like the Savior, the prophets of God, as well as Eleanor Roosevelt, Albert Schweitzer, and even some of the local people we knew from Church and school. My mother’s focus on service even extends to her office at school where she works as a nurse. She has a tin full of lemon drops that she’ll reward to a lucky child if they correctly answer her one simple question, “What good have you done for humanity today?” (which is a heavy question if you’re a 7 year old, if you ask me, but lemon drops get handed out, so their answers must be legitimate)

For many years, I never really understood what good works, or service, was; I just assumed it was doing something because no one else was going to do it. As years passed and I matured, I learned through trial, and many hours of long suffering why my mother was so adamant about us lending a hand at every available opportunity - to instill in us the value of not only work, but that of learning to be helpful, what it was to fill a need, and to be grateful for everything that we have been blessed with but imparting of that substance to those who need it more than we do.

As part of the baptismal covenant in Mosiah 18, new members to the Church of God were described as being a people who are:

“8…willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
9. Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort
those that stand in need of comfort.”

We begin to feel love for those we barely knew because we then began to see them more as our Father and Savior see them: as our brothers and sisters, regardless of race, religion, creed, body type, hair color, financial status, or orientation. As Elder M. Russell Ballard stated in a talk from the April 2001 Conference, “…a doctrine of inclusion…That is what we believe…If we are truly disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, we will reach out with love and understanding to all of our neighbors at all times.” As my mother always said, “We all bleed red blood.”

From Elder Christofferson, “Jesus demonstrated that a consecrated life is a life of service. Hours before the agony of His Atonement began, [arguably the greatest act of service in this life], the Lord humbly washed His disciples feet, saying to them:

‘If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.’

Those who quietly and thoughtfully go about doing good offer a model of consecration.”

A consecrated life has the ability to influence many for good, as well as to lay the foundation for our own joyful eternity. We have been allotted a finite amount of time here on this earth, and what we choose to do with that time moment to moment, we will have to account for before the Lord at the end. I encourage each of you to develop the requisite faith to make the decision to wholly consecrate your lives to the cause of Christ, “that we shall appear to be like him” and be a united force for good on our Father’s behalf. I leave this with you with my testimony of its truthfulness.

Thoughts on a Sunday

I'm a Visiting Teaching "district leader" in my Relief Society organization and I got an email this morning from my Relief Society President regarding some updates to Visiting Teaching assignments and some general business.  One item that was raised in the email was that our monthly meetings with all the other district leaders and the RS presidency to go over the needs of the women in our group would now include the Elder's Quorum auxillary over Home Teaching to put our heads together regarding the sisters. 

This got me musing about my past Home Teachers, especially about the ones that made a significant impact on my life through very small means.  I'm still friends with my first set of HT's when I was a freshman at BYU, but my thoughts settled around a set that I had the following year when I was a sophomore.  Due the course of events, I was living with none of my adopted sisters I made freshman year, but went "pot luck" in my transition to real world living (i.e. apartment and all the responsiblities that accompany that leap).  That fall, I lived with 3 new girls, 2 other sophomores and a freshman and we were civil but I never really became friends with them.  Two of them changed apartments for the following semester, leaving me with the other girl who was always at her boyfriend's.  Add to this my being in a private room with a dash of cliquish activity from my ward and needless to say I had a lot of quiet reflection time to myself.** 

All that alone time worked wonders on my grades as I prepared to apply to the Athletic Training program, let me tell you (3.81 semester GPA that winter compared to the 3.2 semesters before lol). Something else it did was allow me to develop my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Savior.  Never before had I started out being so emotionally and physically alone, and it became pressingly apparent to me that I was to sink or learn to swim. 

So I swam.

But I had some help.  The Lord was very kind and very mindful of me that year and I saw His hand in my life almost everyday thanks to some cueing from my mother.  She told me in an email one day that I should look for something good every day, even if it was just seeing something amusing, enjoying a particular flower on campus, or getting to view a sunset on my way home. 

My way home....

Lots of things happened on my way home from campus, one of favorites involved one of my Home Teachers during the Winter semester.  Barrett Edwards was one of THEE guys to know in the ward at the time.  We had two Elders Quorums and he was the president of one of them, he was tall, handsome, had money and drove a 300 series BMW while in college. Yeah.  Barrett was released from his presidency position before Winter semester and in due course became my Home Teacher along with his roommate Jason Hunter.  Barrett and Jason came to visit me every month and were amazingly dilligent about doing so.  Both of them were Mac enthusiasts, so we had something in common there as well, but the thing about Barrett that's stuck with me all of these years were the rides home he gave me.  On certain days when I had my even Beginning Athletic Training course that ran into the evening, I'd be walking home at dusk and at least twice a month on those days Barrett would be driving home the same way.  I'd be 75 yards from the entrance to our apt complex and he'd hail me down and give me a ride that short distance, simply because it was getting dark and cold outside.

For an out-of-place 20 year old, you can probably imagine what that meant to me.   (nostalgic smirk)  Barrett helped me to see more clearly what a genuine servant of the Lord can be, especially one who conducts himself with full purpose of heart - what a Home and Visiting Teacher should be. 

Just some thoughts I had on a Sunday...




**Barrett Edwards was not the only God-send friend I had in that apt complex or ward by any means.  There were some very genuinely good people there, and heaven knows I found them (Laurie, Jamie, Arienne, Jessica, Starlee, Scott, Amber amongst others).

Reflections I'm apparently suppose to be having

I'm not sure if it's because I've been wishfully thinking about guys I use to date or my hormones coming into imbalance (which weakens my defense against loneliness and social ineptitude), but I had a dream last night about a gentleman who asked me out in the Testing Center at BYU when I was a freshman. As in, ACTUALLY in the testing room with the proctors roaming waiting to pounce on someone remotely suspected of cheating. (It was a very smooth transaction - he dropped a very carefully torn and folded tiny lil note on the corner of my desk while walking by.  We only went out once, very sweet and very smart, but I was 19 and immature, more concerned with trivial things than what matters most because I didn't have any true bearing on what matters most). 

In the dream he still had his amazing intelligence (double major in Chemical Engineering and Physics Education) and his same humble sweetness, but the connection was different this time, almost like things had been waiting for me to turn my corner so I wouldn't be such a superficial jerk to such gifts proffered me - a good man, smart man, willing to devote himself to me and an "us" and for me to finally to be in the psychosocial position to do the same. 

Heh, turning corners.  An interesting thought to ponder.  My interpersonal relation skills on a basal level have always been good, but it was a matter of refining them, and ultimately myself, in the process.  Some things I've come to realize....

-  I almost lust after intelligence and the ability to create physical items at the same time.  Give me a machinist or carpenter, anyone who works with their hands with common sense, tenacity, deductive reasoning skills or an equivalent IQ of 150+ any day.

-  Raw attraction completes what intelligence/common sense/loyalty/all other quality characteristics don't fill.  It's a fact of life and that's that.

-  I'm shy when I care, and brazen when I'm confident.

-  Genuine loyalty and friendship is pretty quickly determined.

-  I like feeling safe more often than feeling like I have to beat up someone (I don't take well to men I feel the need to physically protect)

-  True charity knows no bounds - I admire the those who don't put a price tag or a mark on the balance sheet when it comes to helping someone else out who needs it; who love without repose; who ACT on behalf of another, not just think about it or delegate it off.

-  Banter exercises my brain, but I respond best to a common sensed, honest and soft hand.   

-  Balance - too much of a good thing is still too much of a good thing, just as not enough of a good thing, or too much of a bad thing.  Common interests are a spark and a glue, differences keep things healthy.

-  Being able to dance is more than just being able to reproduce preconceived notions of steps and patterns.

-  Ambition is almost as luring as intelligence.

-  Extracurricular talents involving the performing arts are nice, but they're more the glitter than the substance.

-  Intuition needs to be balanced with Imperitive - good touch says more than words for me, but that's not how everyone operates, and I've finally come to understand that.

-  How boys are is drastically different than how men are.

-  I prefer a long and steady road than a short quick route

-  Fear is legitimate, but never an excuse. 

-  Communication, in all forms, but especially verbal, will make and break it all.
 

It's been a long and winding road that's gotten me to where I am, and I know there are many more long and winding paths ahead.  I wish I could send thanks to all those I've had the pleasure of giving myself to in all forms so that I may learn more about myself in return, but I suppose they'll figure it out eventually.  Maybe. 

The "Rescue" Dog

As a little background to this post:  My parents and I share a purebred Rhodesian Ridgeback.  He's 8 years old, now, but he's not exactly....old...in any way, shape, and/or form.  He's partially tame, gets over excited about things that are to his benefit, gets belligerent if its not, and is just now gradually coming around to the idea that when I tell him to do something, he needs to do it.  I've long recognized the parallel between my role as my dog's primary parent and that of real parents, who leave their children in the care of their parents, only to collect said children in a worse behavioral state than when they left them.  *hangs head* (insert long sigh).  No 8 year old dog should not respond to his name nor require a spiked choke chain to walk on a leash outside of his yard.

Anyway, since I've been home more consistently, I've been working with him on responding to commands more appropriately (i.e. not lying down when I tell him to sit), his overall visual-dynamic coordination (he can now catch something in the air from various positions), BUT he's still in transition from using the choke chain while on walks outside of our yard.  The added quality time that I've had with him I've come to predict his behavior and thus deduce ways to improve his obedience.

My dog has the amazing ability to get himself worked up while going to the vet.  So, I tested out my theories on him today and here's the box score for the end game:  Walking up hills prior to going, good idea. Letting him watch me get my truck ready for his transportation, good idea.  Including his stuffed pheasant in the cargo bay, useless idea. Cheese, good idea. Other dogs in the same room as the scale, not so good idea. Alone in the room with the scale, good idea.  Having a culturally specific name that has a high incidence of mispronunciation, neutral idea.  Leaving him alone with your parents for 8 years, not a good idea. Using a firm but calm voice, best idea.

In the end, he walks out of the vet's office all happy and calm, not pulling on his leash.  Stark contrast to  when we first got there, when he was a ball of hemorrhaging catecholamines.  He was so bad, one lady who was walking past earnestly asked if he was a "rescue" dog.  =)  No... no no no.  This is just the way he is.

All Is Fair in Love and Trust...

I've been meaning to write my thoughts on this topic for two weeks now, but for whatever reason I kept putting it off for more entertaining topics (like the cr-AZY stuff I see at the VA).  But, now that I've finished my dessert, I'm ready to attack my vegetables.

I was sitting in Sunday School two weeks ago, and we were talking about the Council in Heaven.  The discussion had gathered around Abraham 3:22-23, where the prophet learns about foreordination, seeing the "noble and great" intelligences amongst the droves and then being told by his Creator "thou was one of them."  I cannot help but think how humbling of a moment that must have been, to learn that he was one who was most faithful and obedient during his pre-earth life.  And in looking at Abraham, the proof was certainly in the pudding, he was noble and great prior to his birth was certainly most nobel and great during his time in mortality. 

But in mentioning those descriptors along, "noble" and "great", someone behind me made an interesting connection that I don't think I will forget.  Those spirits, or intelligences, who stood out to Abraham in this vision were most likely those other prophets who went before and came after him (and I believe the Savior was among them).  I do not claim that as an all inclusive list by any means, but I know it includes them...minimum.  Either way, the parallel the young man behind me proffered went something like this:

It is given that God's greatest work on this earth is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. This is not an easy task and the sheer gravity of thinking about such a prospect will drive that thought home. Just like any of our parents would only entrust their child's wellbeing into the hands of loved and capable people, Heavenly Father did the same. He chose those 'noble and great ones' to eventually become leaders of His people because He trusted them - He knew they would not fail Him. God's love does extend to every one of His children, that goes without question or doubt.... but He only trusts a few.

The thought of that hit me hard, especially in light of my Patriarchal Blessing and certain things I've experienced in my life that have testified to me that Heavenly Father must either need me for something or didn't want me to return to Him in such a state of little progression as I have obtainted (in which case only further proves His love for me as an individual).  How despairing it is to think of God  not trusting someone...  to me that is just as grave a failure as anything else - one of the few beings who has the ability to love every single one of His children unconditionally and yet know He could not trust them w/ whatever aspect of His magnum opus...

But, indeed, we need not despair.  Heaven knows we have our agency and are here to use just that.  Because we have the ability to choose, we may resolve ourselves to be more consistently obedient and prove ourselves worthy of God's trust as a compliment to His love.  How our agency can set us free... =)

Also, how this parallels our day to day relations we have with one another... 

Something to ponder.

Come, Let Us Anew...

It's hard to believe that a year has already passed, and what a year was 2009.

A year ago this month, I practically swore to my Bishop in Flagstaff that I wouldn't be taking out my endowments for a very long time, nor would I be getting married any time soon.  Well... 10 months later, I received my endowment, but I'm still not any closer to getting married.  One of these days...

A year ago come February will mark the 1-year anniversary my cousin and classmate, Holly, and I received a second chance at life.  On a blizzardy early afternoon, February 9th, we were involved in a multi-car and semi pile up on I-40 W toward Kingman.  Due to a sudden entrance into a low visibility stretch on a hill, Holly was unable to stop in time before sliding into the wheel-well of a semi that had already collided with another semi to avoid smashing into a longer stretch of piled up vehicles in front of them.  I had the last look before impact, but I had the impression this wasn't the end for us.  Holly and I ducked into each other and a few bangs and jerks later we were still. Holly had the inspiration we needed to get out, and we climbed out the back window which had miraculously been avulsed from the vehicle.  We hopped the guardrail and ran upstream to warn other cars just as two other semi's hauntingly crashed into the area where we had just been.  The snow lifted, the sun intermittently came out and as far as we knew, other cars behind us were able to stop safely.  Holly's car was totaled and all we escaped with were a subluxed SC joint for Holly and a hematoma along my anterior tibialis and a few months of sensory nerve regrowth.  If both of us had stayed, we would be dead.  Thankfully, no one involved that day expired - a faith reaffirming experience that I'll expound for you in a more private forum if you ask me to.

Fly fishing trips, a grandmother's health in question, and hopes for the future to plan for.  I still don't know if I made the right decisions in setting up my rotations as I have them, but only time will tell, and in the end, I am the master of my education.  I was offered a research position with some professors that saved my sanity and improved my confidence in myself as a clinician and a person of character.  However, cleaning cadaver tanks was an experience I shall never forget.  I do miss dissection.

Leaving Flagstaff for Phoenix was harder than I anticipated.  I arrived there from Utah ready to leave and I left there not wanting to go...

Moving back in with my parents was interesting, as it prompted a lot of house cleaning and many donations to Good Will.  The discussions resumed about when my curfew would be: Dad said 10pm because after that I was going to get shot at a streetlight while driving home, I said Midnight.  Mom broke the tie with Midnight.  So began my matriculation back into Phoenix society - records transferred into new singles ward, met AMAZING people that I feel very small next to, helping mom with the house, volleyball on Tuesdays, and resume unspoken repartee with my unofficial "nemesis" (?) - not sure what I would call him...

Rotations beginning and my year long training on how to be a real therapist. Scary.  Started out with outpatient Neuro rehab at SWAN.  Had the most patient CI in the world who I swear, thought I was crazy half the time.  We were cut out of the same cloth 20 years apart.  I made amazing friends there and learned a lot about myself.  Moved to Utah for my 2nd rotation to finally get some closure on my life there.  The rotation wasn't what I thought I needed, in the entire 8 weeks I was there, I didn't do one initial evaluation and I about had a coronary the entire first week I was there.  However, it gave me much needed experience in actually treating someone....now I just need to re-learn how to go through an intake form.  While the rotation was a chore at times, the dancing was great.  All I did was Blues, and I made some great friends while I was at it.  The Blues scene made it hard to leave Utah.  That and a couple prospects I left behind.

And what would a reflection blog be without a touch on the love life (as I know so many of you are on the edge of your seats).  The close of this year also saw the close of some hoped for relations, both years in the making.  Upon reacquaintance, one pushed too hard too fast and scared me off, the other didn't push enough over long distance and we lost each others hearts for good.  Had a few nibbles since then, but I'm open for suggestions...  (however, he must be of strong constitution for heaven help the man who courts and marries a Kate).

However, whenever a door closes a window opens.  A new year is upon us and I realized I lived the last 5 months of my life in fear.  Fear that I wouldn't be the perfect intern, fear that I wouldn't learn what I thought I was suppose to, fear that I had screwed up my potential for happiness, and fear that my Father was mad at me.  The canvas is fresh, the paints are old, but there are other fresher colors and utensils to use as well.  I have rarely been one to accept fear as a reason for not doing anything I was suppose to be doing - there may be uncertainty, but no fear.

So, with that, I say hello to this brave new year, full of possibilities, challenges, and growth.   Let's dance.... =)